As I look forward to my next adventure, I can’t help but look back at one of my greatest leaps to date. The beginning is a poem I wrote in Haiti and the rest are little tidbits of stories from my 2 months in Haiti.
The mystery doesn’t hide in Haiti, she cuddles up next to you giving you sweet dreams and nightmares. She holds me close, not out of extra love or extra malice, purely out of expectation.
She wants all of me. And when I drown, I surrender to her.
She can’t understand why I haven’t learned to fly yet. She says that is way easier than drowning.
I daydream here and get beautiful, wild visions, my dreams are of me being pulled closer to the truth. For birth, that which is sacred is always there. I can’t feed all the hungry children here, I can’t save all the moms. I don’t always know what to do, or how to do it. I drown, everyday! I hold my breath and drown.
I want to do more, love better, give everything. Like I said, I am not sure what I’m supposed to be doing, but I sure am in a hurry to do it.
My ego is getting a bit of a bashing. The births in Haiti are not easy.
Returning to my center and surrendering to the grace of it. Not allowing myself to compete or battle. Just being a quiet observer (me, quiet??) to it. Humbling, midwifery always humbling. I know that is a gift. I also know the spirit of birth is never lost on me. The essence is part of who I am. I will be graceful. I also know life is full of love, so really there is no battle besides the one within myself. And I think I’m ready to put the sword down and surrender.
Mo money no problems….
So, I went to change money into Haitian dollars, I was with one of our slick translators. He pulls up to the side of the road to a guy with a brief case. It is FULL of money… thousands and thousands of American dollars. I ask, how does he stay protected?
My friend Emmanuel replies, that man has an ak47 strapped to his back.
Oh, that’ll do it!
No bank. No problem….
I went dancing Friday night, kompa and salsa all partner dancing. Everyone here seems to know how to dance. People trade partners and just dance, so fun! I live with 2 women that are Haitian midwives both beautiful and smart and it’s great to get to know them.
We have translators for all our shifts and we take the pink jeep out to remote villages and do prenatal care and give talks on emergency and when to go to hospital. The women dress up and are so proud to get their prenatal vitamins! Did a hospital shift yesterday. Um, twins and breech!!! Full on chest compressions with breech less than four pounds each but they seem sturdy. Wow! The mama was a tenth timer and came in because her feet were swollen. Blood pressure of 240 over 150. What?! All well, miraculously.
I have a kitty on my lap. Her name is Ina may. :) kitties can be food here so we kinda saved her. I am sure it’s not recommended to house stray cats! But I am in love, she is sweet and feisty. My favorite combo.
It’s really pretty here. I’m not sure what I was reading about. There has been some heavy shit, don’t get me wrong. Heavy!!! But the light shines through the darkness.